11 september 2026

i dreamed about her again. we apologized and forgave each other again, even tho i felt like the reason why she distanced herself was... it was too small for such big reaction. but i forgave her either way and we hugged. what's funny is that we were are younger versions. maybe i don't miss her but the memories? because for the last year of our relationship i felt like i didn't know her anymore... we became stranger at one point.

22 august 2026

i saw my friend yesterday, it's been a month since we've seen each other. we lived together for almost a year and i'm going to genuinely miss us being flatmates. but i'm so so happy that i saw her!
today i didn't have any nightmare but i still see these human figures, and the nature is watching me. there are eyes everywhere- in leaves, in shadows, among pile of fallen branches. funny how our brains trick us into seeing thing that aren't there

20 august 2026

for past few days i've been having terrible nightmares. dreams full of death and corpses, dreams where i have no control over anything... i'm scared of sleeping. i sit in darkness with my phones for as long as i can, until my eyes are closing on their own. and when my body gives up, then my mind steps up to torture me. and i have no clue where these nightmares come from.
beside them i also have these... optical distrubstions. i see a human figure with the corner of my eyes, i saw one just right now as i'm writing it. recently i thought that my mom was standing in doors to my room. but when i looked, almost immadietly, no one was there. yet i saw a human figure, it was so vivid.